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You Know How I Know I’m Gay?

August 11, 2010

… I make homemade croutons to go with my bleu cheese lettuce wedge.

(btw, the headline is from 40-Year-Old Virgin. It’s not a slight on gay people.)

I was all alone one day and I decided that a lettuce wedge sounded good. I went all the way to the store, bought the lettuce and “bleu cheese” dressing, but forgot croutons. I had to put the dressing in quotes because the only version available over here is a bottle that says bleu cheese but actually is a watery, slightly creamy dressing with a slight cheese flavor and  no chunks.

Nevermind that I forgot the croutons, I thought. I’ll make my own!

All you have to do is take a piece of bread and pull it apart into crouton-sized chunks. You can also take a piece of bread that’s slightly hard because it won’t matter when you bake it.

I filled a bowl with a shallow lining of olive oil, salt, pepper, oregano, and some other dried herbs I had in the cabinet. Toss in the bread chunks, make sure they are coated well and then put them in a baking pan.

Since this was a total improv, I think I put them in the oven at an average sounding temperature, like 350 F for about 10 minutes. Basically just keep on eye on them, and once they start turning golden brown test to see if they are crunchy. If they are crunchy but not rock hard then you have succeeded and you will be as proud as I was. Simple!

The lettuce wedge just got chopped in quarters by my large and scary knife, and then when the croutons accompanied it the bleu cheese was poured on top.

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